Planet of the Apes 2001 Review: The monkey in the middle

With an excellent original series and an ever-expanding modern series, this remake of the original film is oddly stuck in the middle of the two franchises. It is its own beast, and there are quite a few things to be said about this film. So let's get into it in today's article: a Planet of the Apes Review: The monkey in the middle.

There are a lot of things to say about this odd film! I'm going to start with the presentation, as it is the most critically acclaimed aspect of this movie. Tim Burton is generally able to make movies with stylistic flair and memorable shots, even if his style isn't always my cup of tea. But this movie? I especially loathe the presentation. Personally, I think the original series' makeup holds up so much better, as it has that campy, B-movie, aged flair. This movie looks like it tried really hard for realism but missed, and it was (and I hate to say this) torture for my eyes—especially the females, who looked far too ladylike and human. Also, this movie is almost entirely lacking in grand, sweeping shots that define the action of the series. This movie feels so tiny compared to many of the others, and it feels like I'm always looking over the shoulder of the characters instead of watching a planetary ordeal. This movie's aesthetic did not work for me. I can usually get behind Tim Burton's work, even if it isn't my personal favorite, but this movie is honestly pretty revolting in my eyes. Of course, more power to you if you found it impressive, though.

The next topic of discussion is the characters. While Ari is a small highlight, she doesn't have a convincing screenplay behind her like Zira and Cornelius did. And the main character, Leo? He pales in comparison to Taylor in every way of the word and, frankly, has no character growth or interesting flaws like Taylor. Even Brent, who I've dubbed "Discount Taylor", makes Leo look awful. And that's saying something. The most exciting thing about Leo is his potential romance with Ari and the implications of how they could possibly have an interspecies relationship—is the idea mortifyingly disgusting, or does it work because they are both intelligent primates who can make their own decisions? I think I align with the former, but it would've been an intriguing idea to at least touch on. However, it could be argued that sentient ape and human relationships with consent are vastly different than sentient human and, say, Twi'lek relationships due to the fictional nature of the latter. But I digress. Returning to reality, I guess Paul Giamatti's Limbo and Charlton Heston's cameos led to some humor that wasn't all that bad, but they still weren't too notable. The characters in this movie aren't the worst I've ever seen, but Ari is the only one who has a chance to compare to any of the characters in the films before and after this release.

This movie also had quite a few plot changes from the original film. The opening scenes are unmemorable and can't compare to Taylor's speech; the fact both humans and apes can talk was a misguided change; its ending is unique but not my favorite; the makeup is too "uncanny valley" for me, and more. Everything I'd love to see explored in a zany Tim Burton film wasn't here, and instead, it left behind a bland remake that is simultaneously too much and too little of a reimagining.

The Reel Ranker Verdict

Reel or Unreel? - Unreel
The Reel Ranker Score: 18%
Letter Score: F+
Star Ranking: 0.5 out of 5

In the end, I must be honest: I can't stand this film. It is far and away the worst of the franchise, and I'm glad they scrapped it and took time before making new films to have that time to brew up new, good ideas. This is one of my least favorite movies I've watched, and I barely made it to the end. While I understand some of the elements that people state are commendable about the film, I would never recommend watching this to anybody but my worst enemy. All right, toxic ex-girlfriend and high school band teacher, you can watch this film immediately, but otherwise? Avoid this like the plague.

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